Knowing my wife, knowing me as well – Part 01 – Page 25 of 25

“No, no, baby…”
I certainly didn’t want to make her a slut. I loved her. But I was still lying, that I weren’t watching her.
“And I want to tell you something, that your friend Sam also knew this. If you weren’t there watching my back, he was surely there and he might have told you. Whatever it was, the truth is, you knew that I was with Mr. Thomas that night, didn’t you?”
I couldn’t reply. She had checked all the exits. My silence, however, made a big statement. A statement of confession.
“Like your friend Sam thought about me, you also must have thought about me. That I slept with Mr. Thomas that night. You really make me think myself so low, Krish! You make me feel like you always wanted to make me seduce strangers and do all the stuff you wanted. You’re sick. You’re making me sick.”
“Meera, please… I knew that but I also knew that you didn’t have sex with Mr. Thomas…”
“Don’t try to fool yourself, Krish. You knew that only when I told you that I had slapped him. If I hadn’t told you that, you’d still be thinking otherwise..”
I was speechless. The truth can make you numb.
“Why do you want to see me fuck around, Krish? What kind of husband are you?”
She looked me so down at.
“And now, you have fallen enough to do these stuff with….”
She shook her mobile on front of me.
“You know, she knew that Shekhar was cheating on her with me.. And she said she wanted to make me feel the same by taking my husband. You know, when she told me that, all I wanted to happen was the earth to split up and swallow me… I just wanted to end my life. You let me so low, Krish. So low… I can’t live with you anymore, Krish!”
She was raining. The earth under my very feet was collapsing, yet leaving me reeling for breath.
“Are you leaving me?”
I thought I was crying that.
“Yes. I have to.”
“No, baby please.”
I begged. She shook her head and walked away from me, to the bedroom and closed the door.
I sat down like a man so lifeless.
I remembered my marriage night. The night when we looked into each other’s eyes and promised ourselves that we’re made for each other, forever. How shy she was that night. Shy to touch me and be touched by me. She was shy take off her blouse. She wanted to switch off the light. She giggled at the lightest of my touches on her breast. She tried to hold my hand to stop moving, in vain, as I tried to sneak into her skirt and panty. She bent forward and pleaded me to stop when I pushed my finger inside her. She laughed incessantly as I slowly caressed inside her, as my finger teased her clit. When I asked her ‘isn’t it?’ she would always giggle ‘it’s not’ but her face would indeed betray her, and I would ignore her objections. It was amazing to feel how her pussy was getting wet against her mind. And she wouldn’t touch my dick. She was too shy. When I asked her where did she want me in her, she could never say it openly. She was embarrassed. And when I eventually push myself into her, she would always grab onto the pillows and moan, or even cry. And she always wanted me to cum, because my pleasure was hers. She didn’t know that she could also cum. She was innocent. She never asked me to fuck her, it was always done as per my wish. She was mine. Mine only.Until I tried to play games. Games that backfired and the real tragedy was I failed to recognise when it started to backfire.My phone rang and interrupted me from my thoughts. It was Sheelu.
“What have you done, Sheelu?”
“I did what I have to.”
Sheelu’s voice was calm.
“I wanted to give her an answer, Krish. I wanted to feel a woman again. I wanted a normal life. You know, at first I thought Meera stole my husband from me. But then, when I saw her so happy with you, I realised that I was the one who was stolen from my own life. I wanted to claim myself back.. and that’s what I did.”
That’s what she meant by redemption, you fool. I said myself.
“What about me?”
“About you? You saw what I did to my cheating husband. I left him, Krish…”
She sounded sad.
“You’re a good man, Krish, and too good a man. I sympathise you for your loss, and more than that I pity you for… for you’re very indecisive. Confused. I don’t know if you can bear it, but I think I loved my Shekhar than you ever loved your Meera. May be that’s why his betrayal changed me in a way that you can’t understand. You need to grow up, Krish. Get out of her shadow. Get a life. Move on. I have nothing more to say than a thank you for what you gave me yesterday.”
She cut the phone. The beep sound of the cut call echoed in my mind. I threw the phone away in despair.
More than all the misfortune I had been through by then, her statement to demean my love hurt me. It asked me questions that I couldn’t bear.
Didn’t I love my wife? Wasn’t my love for her true?
I couldn’t accept it. No, it’s not simply true. Sheelu was wrong. I loved her. More than anything.
But it was time. What I thought or wished didn’t have a say in what was happening in my life. I realised it as Meera walked out of the room with a bag.
“Can’t you really stop, Meera?”
I walked into her way and asked. My voice was so weak.
“Can’t, Krish. Sorry.”
“I love you baby, please…”
“I know you love me and I love you too. But I also know you can’t handle your love. You should grow up, Krish. I have to go.”
“Where will you go, Meera?”
I asked her a question that I hoped she’d answer in a language that I could digest.
“You don’t have to worry about it, Krish. I have called Ananya. I’m moving in with them, until I find a suitable space.”
I heard a car horn from outside. She walked away without even looking at me, and I followed her.
Outside, I saw a car, and I saw Ananya and Sam sitting inside it. Meera walked further away from me and got inside the car. I had turned a statue.
I saw Sam smiling at me. He seemed happy.Ananya had a mysterious look on her face.Meera didn’t even look at me.
I saw there, unable to move an inch back or forth, watching them move away from my sight, my life.
So this is my story. A chapter of my life.
Dear readers, you must be remembering a fact that I had told you in the beginning of this story. A person often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it. Mr. Shekhar was one such. Arman was another. And now there was Sam! He was my friend. But when I knew what he was, I wanted to avoid him and I just did it. And see! He’s there, with a victory smile on his face, he’s standing there. My wife whom I once wanted to protect from him, is now at his mercy, and that too when she’s most vulnerable.
“The day Meera is available, I would fuck her Krish!”
He had screamed me. I had made him scream.
What was it behind his wry smile? I didn’t know. Or I didn’t dare to accept myself that I knew.
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